parroting

Why do children mimic?

Aimée, who is four, sometimes mindlessly repeats what other children say. She is a child with a strong mind of her own, but some impulse drives her to act like a helpless echo of the attitudes and intentions she hears in her environment. Once she even started participating in a light form of bullying toward a child who was refusing to join a game. Her mother witnessed this and stopped her immediately and made her apologize.

(I do not normally make children apologize. Words have a sacred connection to meaning, and children have a special sense of words. Children are far more sincere than most adults, and the command “say you’re sorry” is in essence an encouragement for them to lie, even to themselves. On the other hand, I might suggest, “you could say you’re sorry” as a way of making atonement. Then the child has a chance to choose the intention before saying the words.)

Why does Aimée at some times exert so much willful determination and at others such stupid conformity? What is her goal? Well, as always, she must be trying to grow up. Growing up takes two things: being independent, and being aware. Sometimes it is easier to focus on one of these at a time. To be independent, all she has to do is contradict. To be aware, all she has to do is mimic. So here she has two very simple, concrete strategies for becoming a person like the rest of us.

On a deeper level, children are extraordinary receivers of energy. They absorb the influences of environment the way a plant absorbs water. It will take years for Aimée to become clearly aware of the choices she makes. In a way, she cannot really make choices; she can only experiment with them.

: : : Repetition is a path toward growth and understanding.